Change....

change is everywhere...i started gorwing up and it's as if nothing can stay the same in  my life for more than 10 minutes..seems that everything i don't want to ever change is in the express lane for it...gosh....school starts soon...see ya'll then.

lots of love

Currently Listening Wonderwall By Oasis see related

There are things that we want changed...so we change them.

There are things we wish to change..so we wish with all our hearts.

There are things that we can not change...so we take them with a smile.

There are events in your lives....so we take action.

Everyone has to pick when to fight and when to fall back into the crowd, and everyone chooses differently thats what makes us who we are...it divides the successful from the slothful and the leaders from the followers....yet no one is happy with who they are. The slothful wish to be ground breaking and powerful, and the successful seem to find there is something missing, leaders feel they have all the burden and wish to throw it away, while the followers dream of leading the pack with thier own ideas. The point is there is no change and so progress with out action...everyone thinks they are entitled  to bitch but  the ones who deserve to, sit quietly with a smile thinking of a way  to fix the problem. So if you find your self bitching...shut the hell up for a second and think of a way to solve the problem...pick whether to fight or fall back and if you fall back just go with it...life just gets harder when you struggle against something you don't have the motivation to change.

just a few thoughts...

"All you got to keep is strong, move along ,move along ,like I know you do, even when  your hope is gone, move along, move along, just to make it through.Move Along."

lots of love and care

Jessica

it's summer and I'm tired....enough said...

<333 you guys

Currently Listening Ella Y Yo By Aventura Duranguense ella y yo.....about someone cheating with friends ...go figure... see related

To her....

    I have been through crying, sobing, screaming, kicking, thrashing, calls at 3 in the morning, not ettign you walk home at 11 at night -_-; broken hearts, wanting to rip your heart out, wanting to put it back together when *cough* morons ripped it apart, fattening food, sharing boys in all the wrong ways, hard times, family problems, school problems, EVERYTHING. And that is what kills me....people ask me to look at it from your point of view but honestly I can't...because I can't fathom doing that to even my worst of enemies let alone a "best friend". You were right about one thing...sorry doesn't make it better, no number or sorries could...whats done is done...plain and simple it can't be taken back. And frankly I know deep in my heart that if you could take it back you would. honestly it kills me that this broke us apart...if I could change the way I feel I would. If it was any other guy I wouldn't have taken it so hard...but it was him....someone i not only care deeply about but I had conversations with you about how i didn't have alot of trust in our relationship, that I didn't trust a few girls or any girls around him....except you...and you were the only one I really needed to look out for. Having 2 people that you completly trusted turn and betray you completly breaks something in you...i mean you can actually feel the peices of your heart falling to your stomach and the acid eating them away. It's a horrible feeling,  then you hate yourself for shedding tears for people that should never make you cry in the first place...then you think well if i did this or that this wouldn't have happened, and ultamitly you end with an empty hopeless feeling that makes you want to curl up and shut everyone out, but you know you have to go on and pretend your okay when really everyday you come home and are either cry or beat your pillow. you smile around everyone even him...he doesn't even know how much this still tears me up.... and the simple truth is I have to forgive...not forget and sure as hell not let it happen again but i have to forgive or it will eat me away all my life....it's not forgiven yet..it won't be for a while, but it will happen....for both of you. Things wil never be as they were, you have to be able to trust your friends and if i can't trust you to keep your hands off the love of my life...how can i trust you to do anything else.....maybe i'll be able to get over it a little and we can speak plesantly....but it will take work....we'll see...we'll see....